Inaugural Humor

I found a list of late night comic jokes about the inaugural. I figure I'll post these since I'm kind of brain dead. Man, oh man. You could feel the stress radiating off of all the students this week. Everyone with finals, papers, etc. I'm glad the WTP State Competition was last week.

Ok, some late night humor:

Late-Night Jokes About Bush's Second Inauguration
"Historians say the most commonly used phrase at inaugurations is 'My fellow citizens.' However, the most commonly used phrase at President Bush's inauguration is expected to be 'My fellow United Statesers.'" --Conan O'Brien

"President Bush is being criticized because his inaugural celebration cost $40 million. When asked about it, the president said, 'Sorry, but my daughters insisted on an open bar.'" –Conan O'Brien

"Some people are criticizing President Bush for spending $40 million on his inauguration, but hey, give the guy a break, he's excited. After all, this is the first time he's really been elected." –Jay Leno

"In preparation for his inauguration, President Bush was shown an original copy of the Constitution. When he saw the Constitution, Bush said, 'Oh, it's that thing from School House Rock.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Bush says being re-elected, he doesn't have the same pressure as the first time. He said he wants to enjoy himself in the Oval Office this time. Not as much as Clinton enjoyed himself." --Jay Leno

"Washington D.C. is on high alert for this week's inaugural event for President Bush. Anti-aircraft missals have been deployed near the capitol. F-16's are patrolling around the clock, and every bartender in town is on strict orders -- do not serve the Bush twins." --Craig Ferguson

"Traditionally the president's inaugural committee pays for these expenses; this time around it's stiffing the District of Columbia with a 12 million dollar security bill -- just their way of saying 'thank you' to the community that went nine-to-one for the president's opponent." --Jon Stewart, on security expenses for Bush's inauguration

"One week from tonight President Bush will be sworn in, once again, as president of the United States. This will mark only the second time in four years that he's had his hand on a book." --Jay Leno

"President Bush has been working on his inauguration, not the actual speech but the word inaugural." --Jay Leno

"Preparations are in high gear for the Bush inauguration and it's really beginning to look bad now for John Kerry. But everybody at the White House is very excited about the inauguration. Early today the Bush twins picked the designated driver." --David Letterman

"Various anti-Bush groups plan to protest his inauguration by lining the streets and turning their backs to his motorcade. You know it's not going to work though because he's going to get out to see what they're all looking at." --Amy Poehler